“If you don’t like it, just change my name,” was Anne Clement’s reply when informed that a report of her talk ‘Fun and Frivols in the Theatre’ at the Bude and District U3A’s September meeting would be sent to the local paper. She began with a lively performance of Noel Coward’s monologue ‘I’ve been to a Marvellous Party’ before expressing her admiration for the range of activities available in Bude U3A’s groups, organised exclusively by volunteers. Only then did she begin to describe her life in the entertainment industry.
To the horror of Anne’s lawyer father, she had been stagestruck from an early age. After training at the Guildhall and RADA she went on to work all round the world as a singer, dancer, and actress, even briefly as a stage manager at the Newcastle Arts Festival with Larry Adler, the famous harmonica player. She appeared in television adverts – who remembers Bounce fabric conditioner, Club biscuits, and British Rail adverts? – and sang at such different venues as Glyndbourne and in Godspell in the West End.
Her longest spell in a television programme was in Stars on Sunday, which she described as the 6pm Godslot, the only religious programme ever to make the viewing Top Ten. She was one of a group of backing singers for the programme’s guests, such as Roy Orbison, and took part in the extraordinary scenarios, “pretty pictures with a touch of God”, devised by the producer. She recalls being dressed as a shepherdess holding a very young lamb which had just wet her dress, and everything stopping for a huge orange bow to be attached to the lamb’s neck because it was not pretty enough. Other scenarios included a Yorkshire waterfall with glamorous nuns, and Home Home on the Range.
Wanting to be a dramatic actress, Anne played a season in Chesterfield, then took a number of television parts. She played Veronica, Ronnie Corbett’s screen girlfriend in Sorry, and survived four episodes with Peter Davidson’s Dr. Who before being melted by a Cyberman. The final shot showed the name badge from her uniform floating in a puddle of sludge.
Eager to travel, Anne spent six months, which turned into a year, with a rep company in East Africa, and later became the lead soprano in the entertainment troupe on the cruise ship SS Northern Star, sailing to Australia via Cape Town and back via the Panama Canal. In addition to two shows a night while at sea, the entertainers were expected to socialise with the passengers at the Captain’s drinks receptions and did not always behave well, confusing the passengers by all wearing the same name badge.
Anne herself used to be frequently mistaken for Judi Dench, annoying members of the public by not being as who they expected her to be.
There was a large attendance to hear Anne speak. The audience were not disappointed and loudly expressed their appreciation – no name change for this report necessary! Anne looked wonderful, dressed in a bright trouser suit with fabulous glittery shoes, and had treated them to a nostalgic afternoon, mentioning TV programmes and adverts from years ago and giving us interesting and amusing glimpses of many familiar shows and celebrities from a new perspective.
For details on U3A activities, visit www.budeu3a.co.uk. The next Open Meeting on October 15th will be the Annual General Meeting, followed by a quiz. All members are urged to attend.